‘Bite Me’—A Warm Take On Vampire Romance: Review

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Bite Me Featured

Bite Me is a gentle and regularly funny story of romance that follows a predictable arc but still has plenty of bite, ticking every box that it aims for.

★★★✰✰

Vampirism is not just about being supernatural and non-human. It is about ritual, practice, and a sense of self, as any Octavia Butler fan will no doubt understand. It is this second element of vampires—belief, behaviour and identity—that Bite Me chooses to focus on. The second feature film of writer/director duo Naomi McDougall Jones and Meredith Edwards, the former of whom also stars as the lead actress, Bite Me is not tailored for detailed introspection or investigation. Instead, it is a lighter affair focused on how love can offer an opportunity to lose yourself, escaping from whatever your daily routine might look like. For some people, it’s filing audit reports. For others, it’s sucking blood from voluntarily pricked skin. 

Christian Coulson (L) and Naomi McDougall Jones (R)

Sarah (McDougall Jones) is a member of a church consisting of herself and a small number of other self-confessed vampires, who voluntarily donate and drink blood from other members and charitable donors. When their church is investigated by the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) for potential tax dodging, Sarah crosses paths with agent James (Christian Coulson, best known as Tom Riddle from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets). A hopeless romantic and about as bland a person as they come, James ignores his better instincts and falls head over heels for the mysterious Sarah, who gradually overcomes her protective reluctance to allow James further into her way of life. But the looming investigation and James’ god-fearing colleague threaten to break up their blossoming romance.

Bite Me is quick to dispel any expectations that it’s ‘vampire’ aspect might lend fuel to—one of the earliest shots is Sarah quite clearly having a reflection in a mirror. Director Edwards is more interested in how other people see these vampires rather than how they see themselves. It is a tension that runs underneath almost the entire film, asking questions of how we perceive others based on purely superficial factors. It is hardly new thematic ground, but it comes at a time when the definitions of religion and identity in the USA feel more up for discussion than ever (Bite Me was originally released in the same year as the provocative documentary Hail Satan?). Tapping into these ongoing tensions is how Edwards generate sympathy for Sarah and her fellow vampires, who are constantly torn between self-expression and reclusion in a way that feels relatable for anyone riddled with self-doubt.

That being said, this is not a searing social commentary. A shame perhaps, as at times you feel like Bite Me is barely scratching the surface when it comes to issues of this complexity. Edwards and McDougall Jones instead turn this into a soothing, amusing and genuinely loveable romcom. The deathly Sarah, with her eye-catching face tattoo and scorn for anything resembling contentment, stands in amusing contrast to James, cast as deliberately meek and caught in a job that is (ironically enough) sucking the life out of him. It isn’t always subtle, but it is very sweet. You want nothing more than for their happy ending to be granted.

Antino Crowley-Kamenwati (L) and Meredith Edwards (R)

McDougall Jones and Coulson enjoy a chemistry that grows slowly, caught in brief moments of conversation and eye contact as much as any of the more obviously romantic scenes. It is a closeness that both originally try to fight, but in keeping with the rest of the film their love proves to be an important source of sustenance for both of them. The pacing of their arcs can feel a little erratic, although it is too endearing for you to care massively. It is also in their most romantic moments that the script finds it’s playful edge, coming out with quips of quality (“we don’t bite. It’s not sanitary”) and welcome interjections from the supporting cast. It is noticeably better than other moments of comedy, which feel badly awkward and cringey even for a character deliberately playing a confused man out of his depth. You don’t ask a room of real vampires whether they are Team Robert or Team Jacob.

Bite Me is careful never to get lost wholly in the fantasy, nor does it let itself get weighed down by the politics or context. James is supposed to be investigating Sarah’s church for tax avoidance after all, a fact that he is never allowed to forget as he abandons impartial conduct in favour of acting on passion for the first time in his life. When Edwards does want to offer a break from reality however, she does it in style. An electric party scene around half an hour in, with dazzling costumes and decor wild enough to give you serious house envy, proves to be a particularly eye-catching highlight. This scene also gives Antino Crowley-Kamenwati a chance to gloriously unfurl himself in a secondary but magnificent turn as Stacz, Sarah’s former snack.

The Verdict

Bite Me is a unique, amusing romance that delivers on its promises. It never stretches its wings fully, not quite emerging into something that will stay with you for long after the story is over. But as a capably written, well-performed and imaginative slice of escapism, this is far more than just a fly by night experience.

Bite Me is available on digital release now.

Words by James Hanton


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