Has your partner, or the person you are dating, ever suddenly done something that causes you to feel repulsed by them? Maybe, you suddenly get the gut feeling that something is not right? If so, then you’re probably familiar with ‘the ick’.
You may have heard of this term from one of your friends or on a reality TV show, but most of us found out about this from TikTok. Last year TikTok blew up and is now one of the most popular social media apps. It is known for setting the latest weird or wonderful trends – it is where I first came across the ick. People have been using the app to share one-minute videos describing their icks and bad dating experiences.
The ick is a dating term which essentially means turn-off. It is different to feeling you don’t have a spark or connect with someone. The ick is a sudden cringe feeling you get when someone with whom you have a romantic connection does or says something that irritates you. It may cause you to look at that person differently, or go off them. You might not even want to be around them anymore. It could be as silly as them just using an emoji you hate to something serious like their beliefs or morals; anything can give you the ick!
The ick will usually happen in the early stages of dating or a relationship when you are just getting to know each other. Love Island fans will be well aware of this after last year’s contestant Leanne Amaning suddenly faced the ick, after being coupled up with Mike Boateng from the beginning of the show. She said, “I don’t want him to touch me, I don’t want him to kiss me, I just don’t want to be around the boy.” I’m certain many of us can relate to Leanne and have been in the same situation.
Many of us probably agree that our icks are minor. But, we all have dating preferences and these don’t have to be serious. For example, I can’t stand it when a guy has sauce around his mouth after eating; it makes me feel physically sick. Another one of mine is when someone is bending over and you can see their bum crack; that’s enough to make me run for the hills.
So, if you’re dating someone and they suddenly make you cringe over the most random thing, then I hate to break it to you, but you’ve got the ick.
Food-related icks seem to be a common trend – Michael shared his weird experience: “I get the ick when someone can’t hold cutlery properly. I experienced this while dating someone and for a while, I shook it off like it wasn’t a big deal but it kept happening and it just irritated me so I couldn’t be with her.”
Cutlery may seem like a minor issue to many people but that’s the thing about icks – they are personal, and everyone has different preferences.
Anyone who has experienced an ick will tell you it is hard to shake. It’s not impossible to get over the feeling of disgust we feel, just unlikely. If you get the ick over a minor issue, it may be worth pushing this feeling to one side if you like your partner enough. Just do not waste your time.
Hannah shared her experience of attempting to overcome one of her icks during a past relationship: “What gives me the ick is materialistic people. My ex used to only care about designer brands and would spend every single pay on designer clothes. Then when I tried to make plans with him, he would tell me he had no money because he spent it all on a T-shirt, so I had to end the relationship.”
Not all icks have to be unusual. Putting material objects before people has long been a major relationship issue but now we can give it a label, an ick.
Lauren told me what gives her the ick and why: “When boys call their mum “mummy” it really gives me the ick! I was in a relationship and when I realised he did this I had to end it.”
There is probably something we all do that’s a bit gross. That does not mean we should ignore icks. They can be funny to hear and talk about, but can also be a sign of bigger problems in your relationship. Perhaps it was never meant to be or, maybe we are all just too fussy when dating. Sometimes we are so picky we even notice these icks within our friends.
Whether it’s cutlery or dating a mummy’s boy, I think it’s safe to say we all have preferences that put us off our partners. After all, nobody is perfect. However, it is good to trust your gut instinct when finding love. One thing for sure is that once you’ve got the ick it’s usually game over.
Words by Codie Bullen