From The End of the F***ing World creator Jonathan Entwistle comes a brand new coming-of-age comedy-drama: I Am Not Okay with This. A show that seamlessly blends all the hallmarks of a quintessential teenage drama with a classic superhero blueprint — think The Breakfast Club meets Stranger Things. It was, after all, also produced by Shawn Levy and Dan Cohen. Based on the far, far darker graphic novel of the same name by Charles Forsman, showcasing obvious similarities such as the diary monologue and those gross thigh pimples, the TV adaptation focuses less on Sydney’s mental illness and more on her sexuality, perhaps in a bid to appeal to a more mainstream audience. Overall, we preferred the TV version.
The series found convincing leads in Sophia Lillis (Syd) and Wyatt Oleff (Stan), who transcend their onscreen chemistry in 2017’s remake of It, with Lillis delivering a performance drenched in pathos, whilst throwing into sharp clarity the inner turmoil of a grief-stricken and socially distant teenager. We can all relate to her frustration navigating adolescence, but for Syd, the repercussions are far more grave. Her moods manifest in uncontrolled telekinetic outbursts.
The series embarks on a sophisticated exploration of sexuality, and it takes Syd half the season to realise what has always been blindingly obvious to the audience — she has feelings for her best friend, Dina. It is her clumsy but honest uncertainty that sets this portrayal apart, dispelling the misconception that sexual orientation is a fully formed, integral part of personal identity. As Syd comes to terms with her sexuality and her superpower, it seems the pressure of hiding both will inevitably blow up in her face.
It would not be a stretch to say the aesthetics of I Am Not Okay with This are a work of art. Colourist Toby Tomkins recreated the tools used to achieve the comic book palette in The End of the F***ing World from scratch to allow them to film in HDR instead of SDR — a labour well worth his time. The vintage Americana tint and popping reds effortlessly lull you into the sleepy American town of Brownsville, Pennsylvania.
The ‘60s, ‘70s, and ‘80s tunes inject a nostalgic, adolescent mood, and make those teenage years feel just a little easier. The series begins with the blaring ‘66 track ‘I’m Not Like Everybody Else’, and as The Kinks song suggests, Syd isn’t. Stan’s favourite goth-pop band Bloodwitch, mentioned in Forsman’s graphic novel, were brought to life by Blur’s Graham Coxon and singer Tatyana Richaud specifically for the series, adding an extra little level of immersion.
While I Am Not Okay with This is undeniably enjoyable, it doesn’t quite set itself apart as a new classic. The plot flirts with too many clichés, and seems to be more of a nostalgic cult-classic melting pot than an original entity. Yet, we were surprisingly very much okay with this. The show is ultimately redeemed by raw individual performances and it’s vintage Americana aesthetics. You can’t help but binge the whole series in one sitting. Just like its sister show, The End of the F***ing World, the short episodes keep you hooked. With an explosive (and bloody) end to the first season, we are not okay with the wait for season two.
Words by Jonathan Rose and Tara Fair
This article was originally published as part of The Indiependent’s May 2020 charity magazine, which raised money for the British Lung Foundation. Find out more here.