“Yeah, we’re just young, dumb and broke”- Khalid
Yep, that one hits a little too close to home these days. As the years go on, I seem to be getting less and less young, more and more broke, and with concerningly little change to my ‘dumbness’. I recently entered the perturbing realm that is my twenties, which, as I’m sure you can tell, I am handling fantastically. As a child, twenty seems so old but, all of a sudden, we’re here…
I think I had my life plans entirely mapped out by the time I was about seven so twenties should be a breeze, right? My younger self did all the work so now all I have to do is take a few simple steps to kickstart the plan into action. I’ll start by finishing school, going to university, graduating and becoming a teacher. Then, I’ll find and marry my lovely husband, buy a nice house, have my three children (two girls, one boy obviously) and then I’m done. Easy. Unfortunately, I have recently discovered that it’s not that simple. There have been a few spanners in the works; just a little global pandemic, the disaster that is the UK housing market, and the realisation that I do not want to marry a man.
So, I’m not exactly where I thought I’d be at age seven and quite a few steps on the plan are looking increasingly unlikely. That might be fine if it weren’t for the endless questions about my future.
What will I do when I graduate? That is the question.
Every time I talk about my degree and university life, I always face an abundance of questions about my career plans and what postgraduate life might look like. We all do it; we’re all just very nosey, and sometimes slightly concerned, about what our loved ones are doing. In all honestly Grandma, I really don’t know. At the moment, I’m cautiously dipping my toes in several different pools before I dive into the graduate world. Perhaps studying an arts degree in the middle of a pandemic and unemployment surge wasn’t my best idea, or it might just work out in my favour
Much to the upset of my rapidly-declining bank account, I’m currently just following my passions and hoping that the paychecks soon follow too. I’ve begun to embrace the clichés that life is too short and changeable to make extensive plans.
What should your twenties look like?
The twenties are a weird decade. Everyone’s doing such different things on very different timelines. While I feel like an oversized child, who just keeps prolonging her education and can barely look after herself, there are people my age who have children. Every time I open Facebook, it seems someone else is newly engaged or expecting.
And, while I think a wedding and babies might be on the cards someday, the thought of that right now terrifies me. I both envy and fear for my classmates; they seem to have the next few years of their life sorted, as I desperately try to scramble to plan my meals.
Seeing people on social media, with their ‘girl-boss’ lifestyles and five-step career plan, is intimidating. I don’t know where I want to be in the next few years; I think that’s fine but sometimes it feels like it would be easier and safer to have a set plan.
The desperate urge to plan.
So, that leaves me here. Stumbling into my twenties, not too sure where to go next and somewhat unprepared for the big and next life steps, and even more unprepared for the questions about these next steps. Seeing the highlight reels on social media makes me crave this picture-perfect girl-boss fantasy. I’m left balancing the desperate urge to plan my life so that I don’t feel like I’m failing whilst also having no clue what I want this plan to look like.
I have goals and want a successful career but at the same time want to be young, wild, and free and live in the moment. I’m surrounded by imposter syndrome and career anxiety when I put time and effort into my future career prospects. Or, I’m left worrying about my financial security and career plans when I do what I enjoy.
The endless TikTok side hustles and the girl-boss personal news alerts on Twitter are intimidating. Everyone talks about what they’re doing and what their latest success is. Your twenties are hyped-up to be the best decade of your life but I’ve spent a significant chunk of this decade worrying about the future, comparing myself to my peers, and dodging unwanted life questions from my relatives.
Who knows what the rest of my twenties will look like. I’ve managed to survive the first three months with only a few minor breakdowns about the future so I’m sure the remaining 9½ years will be a breeze.
Words by Ella Gilbert