My Life In Songs: Thomas Johnson

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She’s Lost Control // Joy Division

This song is probably the most beautiful yet raw depiction of the type of seizure that Ian Curtis would come to have, for him to witness it on another must have held some deeper meaning that maybe Curtis wasn’t aware of at the time. The Joy Division frontman had not yet been diagnosed with epilepsy, but a part of him would have acknowledged the similarities he felt in the pit of his stomach, and a likely sinking sense of fright would have gone crawled up his spine. With the industrial melancholic rhythm that only Joy Division could conjure up  this song haunts and has stayed in my mind for years. It inspired my ‘control’ tattoo on my wrist; a feeling that Curtis and the girl he wrote this song about could never completely manage due to the possibility of a seizure around any corner.

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