Shari Franke understands the appeal of her family’s story. As she puts it herself “… a beautiful God-fearing American family, turning their rags into riches on Youtube, only to be wrenched apart in a dramatic turn of events featuring demon possession, doomsday-prepper cults, with lesbian undertones”. But in The House of My Mother, Shari Franke peels back the layers of this lurid tale for a more intimate and personal story of a child coming of age in an emotionally abusive household.
Once, the Frankes were best known for their family vlogging channel 8Passengers. Mom Ruby would showcase the daily lives of herself and her children to a peak of 2.5 million subscribers. After an internet cancellation in 2020, Ruby switched to a new path, joining ConneXions, a group led by controversial therapist Jodi Hildebrandt. She would discontinue 8Passengers in favour of Moms of Truth, a channel espousing strict parenting lessons. But in 2023, a far more tragic story emerged after a 911 call about a young boy who had arrived on a neighbour’s doorstep – emaciated and with deep wounds. Both Franke and Hildebrandt were both arrested and pled guilty to child abuse.
Memoirs that proclaim a wish for privacy can feel disingenuous. But since she was a preteen, Shari Franke’s story has been told for her, very publicly and without her consent. The House of My Mother, is an earnest attempt to finally control her narrative. Consequently, Shari focuses the book solely on her own experiences – a choice that feels like a genuine attempt to avoid exploiting her family’s suffering. All of Shari’s younger siblings go unnamed and the height of the abuse they suffered is only alluded to. Shari is determined to tell no one’s story but her own.
Shari (and her ghost writer) paints a heart-breaking portrait of a childhood where love is conditional, and obedience is required above all else. As a devout Mormon woman, Ruby Franke believed motherhood to be her highest calling, but the family she created is portrayed less as a cohesive unit and more as an extension of her ego. Shari learnt to fake a smile no matter what, long before cameras were rolling. This is one of the first memoirs to come from a child star of the ‘family vlog’ genre but it’s unlikely to be the last. Shari minces no words on the negative effects of having her preteen years mined for content. This new wave of child stars isn’t found in Hollywood but online. The set – their own home, the storylines – all their most personal childhood moments, laid bare for the world to see. What flimsy sense of family there is begins to crack when Hildebrandt enters the book, worming her way into the family first via highly unethical counselling and then via demonic possession. After initially falling under Hildebrandt’s sway, Shari is ultimately ejected from the family, forced to watch from the outside as the situation devolves. While the book demonstrates Hildebrandt’s manipulations, the ultimate thesis is clear. YouTube fed her mother’s ego. Hildebrandt validated her mother’s cruelty. But neither one created the monster. The woman that Shari Franke knew was always a monster.
For someone so young, Shari tells her story with remarkable clarity, identifying the behaviours and patterns that have shaped her life. She lays bare the damage that her childhood wrought, including mental health struggles and a predatory situation with a much older man. A devoutly religious book, it’s even able to identify the failings of certain members of the Mormon church. At the tender age of 22, its author has learnt the hard way, the dangers of putting faith in any single person.
The House of My Mother is not a perfectly written book. Some of the phrasing is a little amateurish, and some of the author’s anecdotes can meander. But there’s a personal truth at the core of this book that shines through. The House of My Mother is a reclamation of the narrative, the final word in a chapter ready to be closed.
Words by Louise Eve
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