It’s yearning. It’s sexy. And it’s completely off limits.
For these reasons, and a whole lot more, the trope of ‘brother’s best friend’ has enjoyed dizzying heights in the romance hierarchy consistently over the last two decades.
It’s all about the forbidden, sending the reader back to lusting after a crush they may have had since they were a teen. While sneaking around can be dangerous and exciting, they hope the happy ending finds them finally getting what, and who, they really want.
However, is this one of the popular tropes that may see the biggest changes afoot? With societal dynamics and friend codes changing generation to generation, will Gen Z agree with this trope enough to help it survive?
Firstly, who exactly is this teenage crush?
While it’s not a pre-requisite that our heroine has longed for him since she was hitting puberty, generally their crush does go ‘way back when’, often well before the first page of the novel.
He’s usually slightly older than our heroine, introduced into her life as her brother’s best friend, and the epitome of a hot teenage crush – older, more experienced, and definitely not looking at her as anything other than annoying or invisible. Even if he was interested and doesn’t see her as an annoying younger sibling, they both know knows she’s off limits to him – thanks ‘bro code’. Even so, how could our heroine not have her hormones race for the guy who has no interest in her romantically but who always looked so experienced, so confident, so grown up?
By the time the novel begins they’ve often known each other for years. He may have paid her attention in this time – treated her like his own sibling (often he is an only child, possibly with an unreliable family with her family becoming a safe space they’d never want to jeopardise), or he might have ignored her completely.
This all adds up to a recipe for yearning that can last decades, maybe even leaving our heroine (or hero) feeling like they’d lost their chance completely.
Because, no matter if feelings started as a teen or are only being realised now, he can’t risk showing his attraction, fighting it until he just can’t help himself anymore.
But there is something – or someone – standing in his way.
So… it’s all because of an overprotective brother?
Most often, yes. While there may be multiple points of tension throughout the novel to sprinkle us with a little ‘will they, won’t they’ there is one huge point of tension that rises above all else – the sibling.
It’s a love triangle with a different kind of love at every side – passionate, friendship, and familial. A loyalty triangle.
This is the person who will deliver the consequences when the relationship is revealed; they are the peril who is constantly looking over the new couple’s shoulder.
“The protective older brother is a real mash up of clichés,” explains romance writer Gwen Boughey-Wild. “Some readers enjoy the bond of family being so strong that they have a sibling looking out for their safety, but that love can feel suffocating when it is hindering them in their quest for the person they love. And the brothers never like to make it easy.”
While the older sibling can be stubborn and over-protective to a fault, they always find ways to justify their position, even before they blow up at finding out about any specific rendezvous.
They’ve seen their best friend in action. It’s more than likely that they know the details of every sexual exploit their friend has ever had, maybe even been his wingman at times. They’ve gotten into all kinds of trouble together. They’ve been in the dating pool together. They know all of each others’ mistakes. He may even think he knows all of his friend’s thoughts and, with partial evidence and part paranoia, uses all of his misplaced older brother confidence to conclude that isn’t the future he wants for the delicate flower that is his baby sister.
It can be anyone but her. They may have even made a verbal pact to this extent.
But is this previously normalised behaviour still palatable to Gen Z?
Importantly, off-page, the autonomy of women is being seen in its own right, potentially bringing a generational end to pacts made by male friendship groups about women who can make their own decisions.
“It’s becoming more and more unrealistic to Gen Z that they would be friends with someone they don’t agree with on a values level,” says Gwen Boughey-Wild.
“The values of the generation are changing. Locker room talk no longer flies like it used to.”
Through social media, the message is spreading that everyone – including, or maybe especially, closest friends – should be held accountable for thoughtless or offensive behaviour. But also that a few one night stands and seed sowing days do not make a man irredeemable.
“Readers new to the genre may find that their values align more with wanting to befriend the types of people who they wouldn’t mind dating their sister because they know they are fundamentally a good person.
“I think toxic masculinity conversation has helped people to recognise that they can protect others by just having better friends.”
So with the tension of hiding it from a brother gone, so goes the taboo. The friend can still be the hot hero that they can fall for, but other forms of tension and conflict will have to be found.
“It’s not impossible to find other ways around it, but it being all about the brother just isn’t going to work forever.”
And there are plenty of other lesser used directions, including the older brother of the heroine’s best female friend. While the friend/sibling here may have things to say about the relationship, it’s not the main conflict of the story. Instead the sister knows her friend is a good person and mostly sees her brother as the person who used to (or maybe continues to) fart too close to her during Christmas dinner and therefore cannot understand why anyone would fancy him at all.
However, no matter the sibling dynamic, the relationship triangle benefits far outweigh the cons. Once our protagonists have proven their love for one another, that they are willing to leave any nefarious past behind them in the name of love, and maybe even have to physically battle for their love, there is one huge benefit which the short-sighted brother will come to rejoice over: their closest friend gets to be welcomed truly into their family.
There are still some more niche variations that we may see rise through these changes, where the loyalty placed is different and the onus isn’t on how good a friend you can be (step to the front sibling’s enemy tropes) but only time will tell on that one.
Want to read how sisters react? Why not try:
- The Secret Diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever by Julia Quinn for literal years of yearning potential
And if you’re looking to step into the new world of sibling enemies then why not try:
- Rewriting The Stars by Claire Kingsley; making fighting for her love a physical task
Looking for more deep dives into the world of romance tropes? The rest of this series has covered everything from enemies-to-lovers to why we want to run off to a small town. Come back next time where we give you the five best reasons to fall in love with a Canadian hockey player.
Words by Gemma-Louise Walsh