So many people are autistic, but few actually understand it.
Studies have shown that people with autism are four times more likely as a neurotypical (non-autistic) person to develop depression, perhaps due to society’s reluctance to accept and accommodate for disabled people.
In honour of Neurodiversity Celebration Week, we have collated a list of four things your autistic friends wish you understood to help you understand and support them.
What autism actually is
There are so many misconceptions about autism. Responses upon sharing that with people that you are autistic can include things like: “You can’t be autistic, my mum’s friend’s son is autistic and he can’t speak” or “you don’t seem autistic, I would be able to tell.”
Not everyone presents in the same way, in particular, cis-women, who continue to be underdiagnosed and receive late diagnoses.
The National Autistic Society defines autism as ‘a lifelong developmental disability which affects how people communicate and interact with the world.’ This description is deliberately vague, because autism is not a monolith and can present itself in different ways – no two autistic people are the same, so try not to make assumptions.
Special interests are normal
Many autistic people are prone to very intense, highly-focused interests, referred to as ‘special interests.’ These interests may seem obsessive to those unfamiliar and unfortunately, can often be made fun of by neurotypical people.
The next time you catch yourself rolling your eyes at someone who’s ‘weirdly’ interested in a hobby, stop and ask yourself – could this be their special interest?
They aren’t just ‘picky eaters’
Up to 90% of autistic people struggle with sensory experiences, with an over or under-sensitivity to certain stimuli. This can lead to issues with food, often resulting in the incorrect assumption (and even ridicule) that the person is a ‘picky eater.’
It can be the texture, flavour or even the smell of certain foods that they find difficult, along with the stress of the unknown or being in a overstimulating situation like a restaurant. Just because you cannot see or understand a source of stress, doesn’t mean it isn’t there.
You are not qualified to provide them with exposure therapy
This cannot be stressed enough: it is not up to you to try and get your autistic friend outside of their comfort zone. If they’ve asked you to do that, great! If they haven’t, then ask yourself: are you helping or traumatizing them?
The idea of exposure therapy is to slowly expose a person to the thing that they are afraid of little by little, but it can be absolutely disastrous when done by an unqualified individual.
For example, filling your arachnophobic friend’s car with spiders. By all means, invite your autistic friend to social events, but respect their boundaries and remember, an autistic person is likely already outside of their comfort zone in ways that you’re completely unaware of.
Overall, the most important thing to keep in mind is that the onus should not always be on the autistic person to change themselves to fit into society – sometimes, society needs to change too.
Words by Tasha B. Johnson.
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